Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My husband is a gem.

I made dinner again tonight. Three consecutive dinners made by me hasn't happened in awhile. So, I'm a little rusty. Or a lot rusty.
Tonight I made macaroni and cheese with the left over cheese sauce I used for Sunday dinner. I was pretty excited about my ingenuity. I decided to top my macaroni with buttery bread crumbs (this isn't a health blog) and popped it into the oven on broil. I then left the kitchen to do, who-knows-what. Several minutes later a light bulb went off in my head. Broil + >30 seconds = a blackened mass. That is a really complicated equation, so for those of you not quite at my arithmetical level, my bread crumbs had disintegrated into sad little black ashes. They were delicious bread crumbs no more. Annoyed, I scrapped off the top layer of my macaroni. The damage wasn't too bad. It was still edible.

The Hubs got home a little late so the macaroni was cold. I decided to crumble some Ritz crackers on top this time and again placed it in my oven on broil. I wasn't going to forget this time. I wasn't!

"Mommy, I need you!" yelled Boo from his bedroom in which he was supposed to be sleeping. He began coughing so hard I thought unpleasant things were going to spew from his mouth so I decided he needed some medicine. No longer was I thinking about my dejected macaroni. After the medicine he talked me into laying by him. Fine, I thought. I was tired. I mean, I burned a meal today! So I lied down, closed my eyes and right before I was whisked away into a deep dreamless slumber I was greeted by my smoke alarm. The Hubs had opened the pipping hot oven only to find a crispy casserole amidst a giant cloud of smoke.

Another crumbly topping had failed. Broil was not my friend, nor do I see a budding friendship in the near future. We simply don't get along. I scrapped another inch of chard, black macaroni and Ritz crumbles off my now disappearing casserole and placed it in a plastic bowl to be thrown away. Sitting right next to the sad remains was the thin layer of mac'n'cheese still in the casserole dish. Sobeit, a thin layer, but a rather delicious layer considering. (I had a bowl of my own to make sure.) I romantically yelled to The Hubs, "Dinner!" and again was summoned to Boo's room. My patience was wearing thin.

Awhile later I re-entered the kitchen to see The Hubs eating the rather large bowl of blackened macaroni. He'd eaten more than half of it already. "Are you kidding me right now?" I asked thinking he was being funny. Confused, he answered, "Uh...no." "Why are you eating that?" I said. "I thought you dished this up for me. (As if I usually dish up his meals.) I wasn't going to say anything...but it's not very good." With wide, slightly disgusted eyes I slowly enunciated, "That's because it's burned. You're eating macaroni ashes." And then I started laughing. I couldn't decide if my husband was really nice or really stupid. I'm going with both.

The moral of this story is that I am not worried about how my cooking tastes from this day forth. I'm pretty sure The Hubs will eat anything that's "served" to him.

We have left-overs if anyone is interested!


Anna said...

lol! You have leftovers, after scraping two layers off? Impressive. This really made me laugh. It sounds like something I/my husband would do. And it feels good to know that I'm not the only one who doesn't make dinner every night of the week. I've made two in a row now, and I'm rather impressed with myself!

B-Blogit said...

this is an awesome story! Way to go B great reaction and way to show your wife you love her by eating burnt dinner.

K - You are just awesome anyway to cook dinner and be a great mom and photographer!

Candy said...

this is hilarious! And Kelli...I hate the broil setting too! I make homemade pizza every friday night, and I always give it one minute on broil at the very end. YOu know, just to make the cheese a little golden and yummy. So the first pizza turned out great. I popped in the second pizza and FORGOT to change it back to "bake" rather than "Broil." Oh, man, it was bad.
So, did Brock finish eating the macaroni ashes? :)

Alice said...

OMG I can't stop laughing! My hubs recently did something similar after me and broil 'got into it' I was making lentil tostadas... they were black. He ate it. Silly man.

Kricket said...

I loved this post. I laughed out loud. Awesome!

cindy said...


love.boxes said...

He's not stupid.. He's not going to knock the cooking no matter what. Guys who do this tend to starve :) The broiler is not my friend either. I have done this same deal a thousand times. Craig's favorite was when a burnt the precious lamb chops his father gave him (home grown) into charcoal. That was pretty recent. So, I went to Target and I bought myself a good minute timer and when it goes off it sounds like a 4 alarm fire. That brings the broiler to the front of your memory in haste. If a see another 4 alarm timer.. I'll pick it up for you. I don't enjoy culinary adventures unless someone else leads the way!

Cristy said...

I love your blog. It makes me happy!

Nick and Whit said...

You're so great! I really enjoy reading your posts. I have to tell you that I was quite excited for my crock pot meal the other day only to receive a call from the hubs later in the day to tell me that it was on but not plugged in. Is it really that hard to put together a meal? :)

Miami Single Momma said...

Awww that is si cute and sooooo sweet! Hi! Great Blog!
I am your newest follower from the MBC Blog Hop!
Can not wait to read more!


Anonymous said...

So funny! Sometimes they are clueless but we love them! Following you now from Moms Online Garage..ha! still laughing..

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