Friday, April 8, 2011

Approval feels oh so good.

It's official! We have finally been approved by our agency to adopt! I am so glad that part of the process is over and we can begin the search for our baby.

It's strange though. I imagined I'd feel this giant weight off my shoulders when we received our much-anticipated approval. But I don't. Don't get me wrong, it feels great to have the interviews, home visits and seemingly never-ending paperwork out of the way, but at least I was doing something. Now I find myself viewing my profile over and over trying to imagine an expectant mother reading about us and deciding whether or not we are the ones to raise her baby.

How does someone decide such a thing? Surely a letter and pictures help, but there has to be a higher power who inspires and moves someone in the direction of another. I believe that will be how it happens for us and our birth mother-to-be. She will find us because she is supposed to, not because we come across through our letter and pictures as being perfect, but because she feels we are perfect for her child.

Writing our "message" or "letter to the birth mother" as it is commonly called was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. How does one express their deepest feelings of respect and admiration without sounding condescending or in-genuine? Or relay how much we love each other and love being parents without sounding cheesy or self-indulgent? How do I express the deepest part of myself that aches to hold a child and call it my own when it is growing in the womb of another?

Needless to say I had writers block of the century. I wanted inspiration. I wanted someone to take my hand and write it for me, perfectly narrating our lives, our values, our experiences and our feelings. This didn't happen. After much prayer, thought and consideration The Hubs and I were left to our own accord. It needed to come from us. Our most sincere thoughts about ourselves and each other and why we believe this is the path we were always meant to travel. God knows it, but we needed to know it. Really know it. And we do.

It isn't perfect or as eloquent as I'd probably like, but it's from us and that makes it special. Hopefully someone out there will think so too.

Take a peek if you're interested. And if you know someone who is considering adoption, please forward her our link. And thanks so much to everyone who reads this blog. It means more than you know to have so much love and support.

16 comments:

lacy said...

Kelli. Seriously? Tears in my eyes after reading your profile. I almost wanted MY kids to come be in your family because it sounded so magical! You are amazing. So glad I know you.

Kelli said...

lacy, you are the cutest. i should be saying the same thing to you. i just read your blog yesterday about the science project you did with elly and thought i'm not nearly as cool as you! so i did a little experiment with boo. thanks for the inspiration! no wonder elly is so smart!

B-Blogit said...

I never thought about the letter that way. That would be difficult to try and write and sound genuine and also different from every other family and standout yet still stay proper!

I bet that you did a fantastic job at it. I wish you the best of luck at it!

Candy said...

Love it! Kelli, your family's profile is a perfect balance of love, fun, the gospel, and so much more! You'll have a lucky baby coming into your home! You wrote it great, really. I'll keep my ears and eyes out for you and wish you a baby soon!

carina said...

I am so excited for you! I remember putting our book together and writing that letter and being so nervous about my wording and how we'd come across. I know that you know that God will take care of it all, and just the "right" mother will choose you for her baby. It's an incredible experience, one that I hope we can do again in the future. It really is so life changing. All the best to you - and many blessings!

cindy said...

THIS IS A VERY SWEET POST I WISH EVERYONE IN THE WORLD COULD READ IT. IT IS VERY TOUCHING. REAALY BEAUTIFUL. YOUR BABIES ARE VERY LUCKY, ALL OF THEM CURRENT AND ONES TO COME!

Briann said...

Your such a gorgeous girl inside and out, There is a baby out there just waiting for you! Good Luck. I have lots of friends who have adopted if you ever need someone to talk to I'm sure they would love too!

aimymichelle said...

congratulations on being approved!

Nick and Whit said...

You can have my future children! Your family is amazing. I am filled with hope and love for you. How could anyone NOT choose you to be the mother to their child? I believe in the power of adoption (hubs is adopted) it's life changing and holds such a beautiful purpose. Congrats! I'm excited to follow your journey.

Ryan and Hetz said...

Okay, so I hope you don't think I'm a freaky stalker but I was just reviewing profiles and yours was on the 10 random list!!! You were in the first adoption thing we went to and the training. I was instantly impressed with you at our first meeting. I am saw sooo HaPpY for you. Yeah! I think you are the cutest girl and are probably the best mom. I'm so glad I saw you guys. I wish you guys the best of luck!

Alicia said...

If I were an expectant mom I would really like the fact that you have another child. I would know that my child would have a brother. That would really appeal to me. I would also like that you have a religion and that you are couple devoted to each other and family. I think you have done a great job and expressing who you are and I agree, I think it's in the Lord's hands now. Hang in there, these things can take such a long time but the right thing will happen. I'm so excited to meet your new little one!

Molly Rivera said...

Your Profile is just perfect! It was fun to learn some things about Brock since I really don't even know him. :-)

Gillian said...

Congrats! It takes so long but you have already come so far! Adoption is an amazing gift, there's a very lucky baby out there for you. Your letter was perfect. Good luck!

Laura said...

Stopping by from SITS. Sending my best wishes your way for a smooth journey.

Candida Marie said...

congrats! can't wait to read more about your beautiful journey.

love.boxes said...

My friend Ally just adopted a baby girl. It was a tough road, 2 other birth mothers backed out at the last. But, when she finally got her little Charlotte... we all knew that it was meant to be. She is perfect! The same will happen to you.. You will find that little "meant to be" and it will be perfect!

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