Bug, Boo and Bubblegum

Two whole weeks after Bubblegum (Boo named him) was born and he has survived his brothers' pokes, pinches and squeezes. How babies survive with older siblings, I'll never know.

"Love is supposed to feel good," my mom would say to my older sister when she would hug me so tightly I would cry. Now I find myself saying the same thing to my two kids.

Little Bug is relentless and doesn't respond to words of discipline. I simply have to distract him with a shiny object and it's, "baby who?" Boo just responds with a half smile after a few cheap shots, "But I LOVE him Mommy! He's just so cute!"

Now, I completely understand the urge to squeeze Bubblegum so hard he pops. But I am an adult. Instead I smother is face with kisses and let him suck on my cheek while he's hooting for a breast. It's tricky I know, and in some cultures I am no better than my 4-year-old, but throw me a bone! I LOVE him, he is just so cute!

Bubblegum was born late on July 14 to an exhausted, but proud mommy. After one big and painful push, he was out and laying on my chest, his confused limbs involuntarily flailing. "We did it!" I told him over and over again.  With no epidural I had to visualize him working as hard as I was. If I gave up, he would have been left to do it alone. That is what kept me going, because it was HARD! During my final and most painful contraction The Hubs looked into my eyes and held my gaze. He gave me the strength I needed to finish. He said he felt helpless and all he could do was send as much positive energy my way as he could. It worked.

I don't remember Boo's labor being quite so hard, but I think we forget. Otherwise we wouldn't keep having kids!

While in a state of euphoria, I was unaware that after the nurses took my baby to swaddle him, he stopped breathing. It was only after a team of NICU nurses rushed into the room bearing medical equipment I understood what was happening. After three long minutes my tiny baby went from a dark grey to pink and started breathing again. I was grateful for my ignorance for two out of three of those minutes.

Again they placed him in my arms and he began nursing as if he had been doing it forever. It always amazes me how instinctual babies are.

We were bonded for life. 

So now, here I am with three crazy boys whom I adore. A little frightened, I approach my chaotic life with a smile and a sense of humor and an understanding that everything else in my life will be put on hold. Because what else matters, really?