Sunday, June 19, 2011

Three words: Brazilian Butt Lift

Plastic surgery? No. Painful beyond belief? Absolutely. I have been doing this workout for about three weeks now and every second is pure Latino torture. I wish it was plastic surgery.

I stepped onto a scale at my mom's house yesterday (I don't own scales because I believe they're reserved only for masochists) because the "model body" I was promised doesn't quite seem to be materializing. As I looked down at the scale the little hand settled on a very disappointing number. A number higher than I beleived it to be before I began my excruciating butt lift. Yes, muscle weighs more than fat, but really? Higher?

Between you and me, The Hubs did say and I quote, "Grabbing your butt is a whole new experience." Mmkay. So that should be motivation enough, right? Wrong. I want to SEE results. I need instant gratification people! After a workout that makes me wish I was dead, I had better look like the girl on the front of the cover! Is that too much to ask?

Honestly, some of the workouts are actually kind of fun. It's a mixture of Zumba and your worst nightmare, if your nightmares consist of squats and lunges, which mine now do.

But I will "keep pushing play" as Leandro instructs me to do and I will let you know how it goes. At least if I die between a lunge and a squat, it will be a pleasant experience for the paramedic or doctor who for any reason may have to grab my butt.


Candy said...

you are seriously hilarious. And you HAVE a model body! Are you kidding me?! I've said so many times, "wish I was as thin and cute as Kelly!" :)
You go you butt grabbing-tastic girl! hahah!

Briann said...

you are too funny! I would LOVE to have your body! YOur gorgeous!

cindy said...

you are buttackulous!

Alicia said...

I like the joke Boo told. That's funny. Gloria says to me every morning out of the tub: "knock, knock," I say, who's there? She says, "orange." Then she laughs her head off.

I HATE exercising. I've never bothered with it for more than one Monday at a time (Monday is the day we start exercising, right?). It used to be okay because I taught school all day and lived off of Diet Coke. Thankfully, I don't drink soda anymore except rarely at restaurants. But now I'm old and I don't teach school and I'm in the kitchen all day eating snacks. What should I do? I need to think of something. I will check back and see how your latino workouts are treating ya.

Cristy said...

Ha! Can't wait to squeeze you're buns. Is that wrong?

Suzanne said...

It's the only reason I go on the treadmill (okay, and for health reasons!) Some things will never change (after 3 children,) but the butt thing can!

Sherrie said...

LOL Kelli, I just love you! This blog made my day and I bet your butt is rocking! Better post some pictures soon ;) haha jk I'll check it out next time I get to see keep up with the squats!

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