Adoption is the word

We are adopting! Surprise! I have to apologize because I never meant to make you wait a week for the news. My excuse...laziness. And lots and lots and lots of paperwork for the adoption process.

When you have a visual of the amount of paperwork we have to fill out, add about twice that and then you'll have a realistic idea. But, I'm not complaining. I love anything that will get me closer to my baby.

Upon finding out about my uterine abnormality, (unicorn for those of you just tuning in) it was dark. Very dark. And then something happened. A thought entered my mind that has never before. Adoption. At first I pushed it out of my mind and resisted. I had never in my life wanted to adopt. And to be honest, I had before felt slightly adverse to the idea. The thought of taking away a woman's baby seemed harsh and unnatural.

When 'adoption' came into my mind again, however, I felt peace. Peace I hadn't felt in more than a year. Peace I had longed for, but seemed so far out of sight. Peace I wasn't even sure if I could ever feel again. At least not until I was holding a baby, my baby, in my arms.

I took this to The Hubs and he was on board immediately. He loved the idea of adoption. I couldn't believe it was really happening. I was excited, scared, anxious. I felt a surge of a million different emotions. I began to feel a strong connection to an unknown woman. Someone who I envisioned struggling, just in a different way than me.

For several days everything pointed to this decision. While listening to Les Miserables, the song Fantine sings about her precious daughter, while on her death bed, left me paralyzed. She pleaded forgiveness for the mistakes she had made in the past, but did not want those decisions to affect her beloved Cosette. She loved her more than anything and begged for someone else to love her like she did.

Then I realized something. There is nothing more natural than two women coming together for the sake of a baby whom they both love. I cried. I cried for myself and for a mother who will someday, selflessly give her child to me. I cried because I knew it was right.

So here we are, in the midst of one of the most exciting journeys of our lives. Our baby is coming. It may take a long time, but he or she is coming!

We have not given up hope to conceive again. We will keep trying to expand our family in whatever way we can. Adversity, however, has granted me something beautiful I may have missed. For that I am grateful.